Thursday, January 29, 2009


YAY! Little Miss Kayla is one month old today! ... Where did the time go!!?

Current Weight: 4660 grams
Current Length: 56.5cm
Current Size: 000

(Sorry - I don't know pounds or inches, but you can use the online converter if you would like to find out for yourselves.)

She is still so little but she is actually quite huge compared to the baby bubette we took home from the hospital!

This is a pic of her taken the day after we brought her home, next to our friends Natt and Dave's baby boy Cooper who is 4 months old...

...and I thought Cooper was tiny!

So far she has been a pretty good baby! The only problem we have lately is a few too many sleepless nights. The problem is she LOVES to be cuddled! She absolutely loves her attention that when it comes time to sleep, she does not want to be put down!

She sleeps just fine when she is in somebodies arms, but the moment you try to put her down she starts DEMANDING to be picked back up again! It's not so bad during the day, but at night from about midnight to 6am when Mummy is trying to sleep, she just wants to be cradled ALL THE TIME!

We've tried to let her settle on her own and not give in to her demands... but the screams just get louder and louder!


So half the time I get stuck with sitting up awake while she sleeps in my arms! *sigh*

She's definitely not crying for any other reason that we know of because she automatically stops crying as soon as she is picked up. The cheeky thing even cracks a little smile as if to say "na na na na boo boo, I've got you wrapped around my little finger!" lol!

She does have problem with lower wind and can get belly aches every now and then (poor Bubba) but Dan and I are pretty on to it and know when she has pain, she has a certain cry and movement and doesn't stop crying until she farts! hehe

I've tried everything! Wrapping her up, putting a dummy in her mouth, rocking the bassinet... everything!!! I even cradle her to sleep and wait a good hour or two until she is in a deep sleep before I discreetly put her down (so she wont notice) but she always wakes up and starts screaming again!

Any suggestions peoples?

Some days I feel so jet lagged!

But I have been getting a lot of help from Dan and Mum. Dan is great and supportive and helps me through the night even though he has to get up early the next morning for work. (Poor bugger!) And Mum comes and helps out whenever I need her, and she takes her for the day every Friday so that I can catch up on my rest to do it all over again.

She's got a wee cold at the moment too so she demands some extra TLC lately, but hopefully she will start to settle down as time goes on.

But other then that small attention seeking problem, she is the cutest little girl and lights up our day with her bubbly personality and her heart melting little smiles even when I am dead tired to the world!!!

Bring on Month Two!!! :-) Thanks for stopping by! xx

Monday, January 26, 2009

What a little Smarty Pants!

I thought it was about time for a little update on how Kayla is doing these days.

To be honest, I always thought of newborns as nothing more than just adorable little sleeping, drinking, poo machines with not much personality, but fun for a cuddle and very cute to look at!

While I was still pregnant with her, for the people that wanted to travel here to see her when she was born - I would tell them to save their trip until she was like 3months or older so that she can be at that real cute and playful stage, as newborns can be quite boring and just sleep all day.

Boy was I wrong!!!

I don't know if it's the same with all newborns, but Kayla has proven to be quite the cheeky little smarty pants at just 4 weeks old! (Even before then!)

At just 1 day old she was already smiling!! We were putting it down to gas at first because I had heard that newborns can not smile until they are at least 6 weeks old (or older!) But there was no denying it when she was doing it all the time and reacting to our voices with a burst of excitement followed with a big clear smile! (and no gas followed lol!) Especially when I sing to her... her little eyes light up and she gets all blushy and smiley it's sooo adorable!

I was even more surprised when at just 12 days old she started rolling over all by herself!!! (Is that too soon for a baby to roll over on her own?!) I would put her on her back, and she would roll onto her side and then on to her belly! (Though she can't roll back once she's on her belly.)

She's only done this a few times but she is clearly capable and she mainly does it now when she's chucking a tanty and throws herself around.

Just the other morning, I had her sleeping on my bed on one side (with a long pillow to the edge so she couldn't fall off!) and I was sleeping on the other side - pretty far away because I worry that I may roll over and suffocate her! But then I woke up like an hour later to something nuzzling into my chest!

I was in the exact same position that I had fallen asleep in and hadn't moved at all, but suddenly Kayla was on my side of the bed, cuddled up to me trying to suck on my Boobies!!! LOL!!! The cheeky thing must have rolled herself over to me while I was sleeping!!! It's still a mystery to me, but I sware the cheeky thing is up to something!

But the thing that amazes me the most - and she did this for the first time on her DUE DATE! (8th of January at just 10 days old), is when she gets really stroppy and I'm sitting down holding her up, she stands very strong on her little legs and starts stomping and walking up my chest!!!

(just had to add this piccy coz it makes me giggle!)

But can you imagine a little newborn walking around? (with help of course!) She's amazing!!! ... Or is this all normal for a newborn? No Really... I honestly don't know! But I sure didn't expect her to be as smart as she is at this age!

But it's not all cute though! She also does this freaky thing in her sleep where she opens her eyes and rolls her eyes in the back of her head with a freaky grin on her face. Sometimes she even laughs her little head off like a wicked witch! She did it again today and at the moment she has a face full of little milk pimples so she looked much like a little Chucky doll! LOL! It freaks me out... it's like she's possessed and is about to do something crazy!

I actually tried to capture it on camera, and managed to get a little snippet of it (though this is one of her more cuter moments!)...
Taken at 13 days old...

Creepy Sleeps...

Well one thing I've learnt for sure is newborns are certainly not boring!!! Even when they are sleeping! Thanks for stopping by! xx

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Cutie Pics!

Well me and Nanna had a blast dressing up our new little dolly and playing photo shoot! :-)

This was actually more like a bit of a trial run, as the little Miss decided she wanted to sleep all the way through it! When just moments before we started - she was wide awake and all cute and alert! So we want to do it again sometime to catch her gorgeous little eyes and cheeky personality!

But even though she may be sleeping in most of them... she is still very adorable!

(Photos taken at 3 weeks old.)

Nudie Rudie...

Hunny Bunny...

Party Girl (tuckered out!) ...

Little Dolly...

Baby Butterfly...

Kayla says:
"If I have to pose for one more photo - I'm going to spit the dummy!!!"...

*giggles* Thanks for stopping by! xx

Monday, January 19, 2009

Visit from Cousin Emma!

YAY!!! Dan and I had a fantastic time catching up with cousin Emma Appleby and meeting her partner Kris last Saturday night! They are here in Townsville for work until late February.

Emma was the first in Dan's side of the family to finally meet and have cuddles with Kayla, so it was a very exciting event for us (and hopefully for her too! hehe!)

Next will be Daniel's sister 'Auntie Emily' who will be coming sometime in late February, and then Daniel's Father 'Grandad John' who will be joining us in April! CAN'T WAIT!!

It's so very exciting catching up with our NZ family! We've been trying to get back to Gizzy for years, but something always gets in our way and stops us from coming (money issues mainly!) So in a way it's like a bit of Gizzy comes to us when a family member comes to visit! Very special indeed!

So who will be next eh? :-) *giggles*

OK, OK... we will try and make a trip to Gizzy ourselves sometime hopefully this year - now that we have a cute little Bubette to show off!
:-) ... promise! Thanks for stopping by! xx

Friday, January 16, 2009

Just like her Mummy!

I was going through mine and Dan's baby photos the other day, to see if Kayla had inherited any features from either of us. I started with Dan's photos but although in some angles I can see strong Gillies features in Kayla's face, I couldn't really see many similarities in Dan's baby pics.

But then I had a look at my baby photos...

...and the resemblance is amazing!!!
(except I was a fatter baby! lol!)

I can't wait to compare toddler pics!!! Maybe she'll fool us all and look just like Dan! :-) Thanks for stopping by! xx

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Our Brave Little Girl!

This is a continuation from the Birth Experience, if you would like to catch up - click HERE for PART ONE or HERE for PART TWO.

(Forgive me if any of this post doesn't make sense! I had near no sleep last night and am a bit of a zombie while I write this - so please bare with me!)

After the stressful labour experience and seeing our Bubette properly for the first time, at some stage Daniel took me back to the maternity ward to catch up on some much needed rest.

I don't remember anything in between seeing Kayla in special care and getting into bed in the ward. All I remember was hours later waking up at around 4am in maternity, realising that I wasn't pregnant anymore and I just started freaking out looking for my baby!

At that moment everything was a blur to me, I had pretty much forgotten everything that had happened that night. I started pushing the buzzer frantically for the Midwife to come to my room.

"Excuse me! Excuse me! - I'm sure I had a baby but I can't find her anywhere!!" I apparently said according to the Midwife. "Just relax," she replied, "Your baby is upstairs in special care, you are welcome to go and see her at any hour of the day or night." Still unsure of what was going on, the midwife helped me into a wheel chair and wheeled me up to see her.

The moment I saw her again, everything came flooding back to me and I started to remember what had happened earlier that night. I just sat there for hours looking at her, and registering everything in my mind.

It was daunting seeing her in an incubator, and not being able to cuddle her. She had a tube coming out of her belly which lead to a drip and weird machine and there were cords taped to her little foot which lead to a heart monitor.

The lady who was on shift caring for her could see that I was confused as to why Kayla was in the state that she was in and she sat down to explain to me what was going on.

Basically the stressful delivery of the cord wrapped around Kayla's neck caused her to be in extreme distress. There were concerns that she may have lost too much oxygen which could have resulted in brain damage. But luckily her brain was not effected thanks to the amazing medical team for acting as quickly as they did.

The fact that I had Gestational Diabetes actually turned out to be a blessing in disguise, because I had to be monitored throughout the whole labour. The medical team had planned to be there from the very beginning to monitor Kayla's glucose levels, but as it turned out they had much more to worry about. Had they not been there for her glucose concerns - the outcome could have been very different.

Had I not been monitored the way that was - they may not have picked up on the cord around Kayla's neck quick enough and they would not have been prepared to deal with it the way that they did.

Dr Egor actually told us this. It's so scary to think that if it wasn't for the Gestational Diabetes, Kayla probably could have died or suffered with permanent brain damage!!! :-(

But although Kayla's glucose levels were actually fine, they now had to place her in special care to be monitored for other reasons. One being her carbon dioxide levels were extremely high as a result of the cord being wrapped tightly around her neck. Another being she had a low hemoglobin count, and also a high level of Billy Ruben (Jaundice.)

(As you can see - she was quite yellow...)

There was also a concern of too much 'stress chemical' in her blood (I've forgotten the name of it!) which can cause holes in the stomach lining from too much acid. Because of this the poor Bubette had to be starved for 3 days until they could hear digestive noises in her stomach.

During this time I had to express and refrigerate my milk until she was ready to feed. They kept her on the drip to keep her hydrated which had to be put in her belly. They had actually attempted to put the drip in her little hand, but after four attempts and finally finding her tiny vein, Kayla ripped it out. (The poor thing!)

The tube in her nose was to drain excess fluid that she had swallowed during the birth. (I actually didn't know this, I thought it was for something else but Dan just told me now.)

So being so fragile, the hardest part was not being able to cuddle her. The incubator had little windows that we were allowed to put our hands in and gently touch her but all I wanted to do was pick her up and comfort her.

Later that day after hours of looking at her, I eventually headed back downstairs to have a shower and freshen up. It was around this time that the pain of the childbirth had finally kicked in!

The epidural was fantastic at the time when I couldn't feel what my body was going through but BOY did I feel like I had been hit by a truck when it finally wore off!

Also I had the first glance at myself in the mirror finally, and I looked like hell! You may notice that there are not many photos of me and that is because I didn't want any taken! I looked like the flippin Marshmallow man!!!


Although my huge belly had suddenly disappeared, my ankles and face had ballooned with fluid retention and my complexion was as pale as a ghost! I was not feeling glamorous at all!

But that was the least of my worries, the hardest thing were the sleepless nights of being away from Kayla, and when the visiting hours were over and Dan went home, I was feeling very alone.

During my stay I had 3 other women coming and going in my shared room. First there was a lovely lady named Sinicka who I've made friends with. The poor thing was 32weeks pregnant and had gone into labour. They gave her steroids and tried everything to stop her contractions but her baby was determined to come out!

So in between visiting the Bubette, I kept myself occupied by supporting Sinicka through her contractions and giving her back rubs to ease the pain. But before long she was sent home and told to come back when she was more dilated! (Poor woman!!) So I was left all alone again!

Next there was an ungrateful cow of a woman who had just given birth to a beautiful baby boy! She was such an ungrateful thing, saying that the baby was an accident and how she didn't even want him! At night when it was time to sleep, her baby would start crying for a feed and she would tell him to shut up! Then she would buzz the Midwife to come and take him away because she didn't want to deal with it.

I couldn't believe it! I would have given anything to have my baby in the room with me, and this woman was treating her child like he was a waste of space! Luckily she demanded to go home early and was gone by the time I had come back from a visit with Kayla. (I do feel for her poor wee baby though!)

My third roommate was someone I could relate to, only this poor girl had a far worse case than mine. She had been flown in from Cairns by the emergency helicopter, she and her boyfriend were out camping in the middle of nowhere when she suddenly went into labour! At only 27 weeks pregnant she gave birth to a wee premmie baby boy.

He was upstairs too only in Intensive care. This girl was absolutely amazing, I've never met anyone so positive in my life! I couldn't have asked for a better roommate at the time, because her positive energy really rubbed off on me and I realised just how grateful I should be that Kayla's situation wasn't that bad. She was great company for me and we would go upstairs together to visit our babies.

Finally Kayla's health was starting to improve, we were allowed short cuddles here and there and we had a routine of what they call 'cares'. Every 6 hours we would change her nappy and give her gentle wipes of the eyes and mouth to keep them clean. (Very difficult to do through the little windows, but very privileged to have that interaction with her.)


OK... i just had to stop and laugh! Kayla just did a big fluff and scared the crap out of herself!!!SOOO FUNNY!!! Hahahahaha! Oh I wish i video taped it!...

~~~~~~~OK - Back to the story~~~~~~~

Then on the 4th day when I came up for my morning visit, the baby doctors were doing their rounds and I was lucky enough to catch them assessing Kayla. They had fabulous news!... and that was that Kayla was ready to feed.

So I was barely in my seat to get comfy when they told me to take my boob out and start feeding! LOL! "Ummm... Help!!... I've never done this before..." I said nervously. So one of the carers talked me through it and explained what to do.

My God! What a little pirana! She chomped violently on my nipple like she had been starved for 3 days! (Which she had been! - So I couldn't blame the poor little thing!) But at first I put it down to her being very hungry, and I thought that it was quite normal because I had heard that breastfeeding can be painful.

From then on I was to feed her 3 hourly, and it started to really take it's toll on me when I had to set my alarm and wake up at all ours of the night... drag myself all the way to the elevator, up to the 2nd floor and all the way to the other side of the hospital to special care to feed her!

I travelled each time by foot (very painful with the stitches!!) but what was worse was the continuous pain of breastfeeding! Each time she tried to suckle, it would absolutely ache, to the point where my nipples would bleed!!! (OUCH!!)

I had seen 3 different lactation consultants who each told me that I was doing it correctly, but why was it hurting so much?!

Finally on the last couple of nights they allowed her to be in my room with me (Yay!!!) She wasn't discharged from special care, but I was allowed to have her through the night to breastfeed her.

But by that stage I had finally had it! My nipples were way too sore to go on, Kayla was getting frustrated because she kept unlatching and by the time I had finished feeding her there was no time to sleep before the next feed!

I just about cracked! I felt so jet lagged and kept falling asleep with Kayla in my arms, and I was worried that I would drop her or suffocate her. I called the Midwife and broke down emotionally. "I just can't do this, she wont feed, she's starving and I'm scared I'll fall asleep and drop her!" I sobbed.

The midwife introduced me to the breast pump and got me to express. (I wish they showed me this before.. I was doing it all by hand earlier!!!) Once I had expressed a good amount, she took it from me, insisted I get some sleep and took Kayla away to baby sit for me. I was dead to the world before she even left the room.

The next morning the Midwife returned Kayla to me with some interesting news.

"I know why your little one is having trouble feeding..."
she continued, "It's because she has tongue tie!" I was confused, "She has what tie?" I asked.

She explained that Kayla's tongue was actually curled under by a piece of flesh that was attached by the tip.

(She couldn't poke her little tongue out!)

This is why she wasn't feeding properly, the poor little thing couldn't get her tongue far enough to latch on. 'Could things get any worse for this poor little girl?' I thought! And yes they did!... This meant that Kayla now had to have the flesh snipped to free her tongue!

It was heartbreaking to watch... I almost passed out at the sight of it! It's amazing the emotion you feel for your own child (as I am just discovering for myself!) I would have taken her place in a heartbeat and would rather they cut my own tongue off than do that to her. Poor little angel had already been through enough!

But she was a very brave girl, only cried a little bit and was back to smiles in no time. Unfortunately though, it didn't make much difference, because they soon discovered that her bottom jaw is a bit shorter than her top jaw! (Nothing too serious that she wont grow out of) But this is another reason why she struggles to breastfeed! :-(

But other than that, finally Kayla was safe to be discharged and finally come home with us. It was the best feeling in the world! But also a little daunting because I knew that while she was in special care... she was safe. But so far so good!

She has come a long way from that poor little stressed yellow baby! All her tests have come back healthy, she's a happy bubbly baby and she is more perfect than we could have ever asked for!

The only problem we have is still with the breastfeeding, but we invested in a breast pump and have been bottle feeding her expressed milk, so that's close enough for us... and at least she's not starving any more! :-)

Well! Now you're all updated with the whole hospital experience! Now we can get to the fun stuff and post about more recent things as they happen! Some time soon Mum and I are going to do a wee photo shoot of Kayla. Nothing professional, but just a bit of fun to get some cute photos of the her while she's still so little! :-) So I'll be sure to post some cute shots soon!

Until then, here's a few of my other favourites...

Kayla loves to be singed to...

Sleeping Angel...
Snuggle Bug...
Daddy's Girl...
Bath by Nanna... Thanks for stopping by! xx

Sunday, January 11, 2009

The Birth Experience! PART TWO!

This is a continuation from PART ONE, if you would like to catch up - Click HERE

Now... Where was I?

Oh yes!... So here we all were in the delivery room and I had just been given the drip to help bring on labour quicker. Just moments before I was excited with the thought of experiencing painless contractions throughout the whole labour, but that was quick to change when I got a very unexpected large pain!

"OWWW!!!... What was that!?"
I moaned. But before I could even register it, I was interrupted with another pain. "HOLY CRAP That hurt!!" The cocky smirk on my face faded very quickly as the pain got stronger and longer. I suddenly realised that I wasn't going to be lucky enough to escape the pain after all, and by the third painful contraction I was yelling "GAS PLEASE!!!!" *hehe*

With every painful contraction that I now had, I would take a deep breath of the gas, hold it in and breath out when the pain was easing off. To be honest, I did not like the gas one bit! I've never been the type to like a 'buzz' feeling, I can't handle feeling out of control of my mind and body and losing my senses of reality and I end up just freaking out. (Much like the feeling of being drunk, I just can't stand it and it can really freak me out to the point where I'll flip out.)

So the gas was much the same for me, at first it blew my head off and made me a little silly, I remember feeling as though my voice was sounding very deep and I became almost too embarrassed to talk. Apparently I said "Oh My God! I sound like Crusty the Clown!!" But I don't remember. I was feeling very silly but it didn't really stop the pain. I feel that all it did was make me able to laugh about how painful it was, but the pain was definitely still there! I think in my case too that because of the fact that the 'high sensation' was freaking me out, it forced me to focus MORE on the pain to keep my mind off my head floating away! LOL! So it probably wasn't the best thing for me.

Also the Midwife was starting to annoy me, I can't stand being distracted when I'm in pain - though it may work for others, it just simply doesn't work for me. I just need to be left alone to deal with the pain on my own and not interrupted with pointless conversation to distract me. And during a painful contraction it is impossible to talk back, so I never got the chance to tell her to "PLEASE SHUT UP!!!" *giggles* (I was very polite... really!)

But with each contraction the midwife kept shouting at me to "JUST BREATHE THE GAS! DEEP BREATHS, IN AND OUT!" I actually kept pushing the gas away because I didn't like it, but she kept insisting I have more and more and more and being in the state I was in, I couldn't argue with her, so I ended up having far too much gas than I could handle and was sounding more and more like Crusty the Clown! (lol!)

Dan, Mum and Aunty Karen were fantastic on the other hand! They were there by my side to support me, hold my hand, rub my back and just be there for me. But they were completely silent during my contractions (which is how I liked it!) they just let me concentrate on getting through each pain on my own and they were there if I needed them in between contractions. (THANKS AGAIN YOU GUYS!! xx)

Time went on... pain got stronger, I got higher and started getting really freaked out and emotional. "PETHIDINE PLEASE!!!" I was getting desperate. So in came another lady to inject the pethidine into my leg.

Almost immediately the pethidine kicked in and I went from a total mess to a giggling maniac! I actually don't remember much but apparently I just started laughing hysterically and as if that wasn't embarrassing enough apparently I told the woman who gave me the shot that I loved her!!! LOL! But all I really remember of the pethidine was feeling really really tired and desperate to go to sleep. I guess it's suppose to help you relax through the contractions, but the pain... was still bad!!

At this stage I was actually falling asleep in between contractions. I would wake up to moan through the pain and would drift off to sleep again as soon as it was over. Even Dan was falling asleep with me and would wake up each time I had a contraction - Mum said it was such a funny sight! But even with the pethidine the pain was STILL unbearable!

At one stage all the drugs had got too much for me and I had drifted off. I woke up suddenly and didn't know where I was, I just started FREAKING out and tried to rip the drip out and make a run for it! lol I was so out of it I didn't know what the heck was going on, but Dan managed to settle me down quite quickly.

I think it was roughly about 5 hours of agony later when I started begging for the one thing that I had refused to have from the very beginning... an EPIDURAL!!! But because I had it written on my birth plan - under no circumstances give me the epidural, the midwife had to challenge me on it. "Now are you sure you want this Rachel? It says on your Birth plan under no circumstances..." I interrupted... "Yes Well THINGS CHANGE!!!!!" I was pretty desperate at this stage... for someone that is terrified of needles and dead against an epidural it must have been pretty bad!

So after my fight for an epidural and a bit of a wait, finally the anaesthetist arrived to set it up. What did I think of the epidural?... BLOODY BRILLIANT!!! I told the pethidine lady that I loved her... well... I could have just about proposed to the anaesthetist!!! *hehe*

She did such a fantastic job! She inserted the needle and tube while I was having a contraction so I didn't even feel it! She found the spot in one go and with in no time the painful contractions had disappeared! I wished I went with the epidural from the start and for anyone that would ever consider having one in their birth experience - I totally recommend it! (It's funny how my view on epidurals have changed!)

It's a little weird when suddenly you can't feel a thing from the waist down, but MY GOD it's worth it! I was back to having painless contractions and was able to get my head together and calm myself down for the next step.

The next step came soon after that and that was to start pushing!! But of course I couldn't feel my contractions any more so the midwife had to tell me when to push. But even the pushing was weird because I couldn't feel that either, but I gave it my best shot anyway! The only frustrating part at this stage was each time I tried to push I got horrible reflux. All I needed was a sip of milk and it would have fixed everything but the midwives would not allow it as they were worried that I may need to have an emergency C-Section. (You must have an empty stomach for surgery.) So I had to put up with this horrible reflux which was getting in the way of my breathing and pushing.

Around this time in between pushing, Daniel decided he felt like a coffee! He had left the room before I had realised and the time came to push again. "WHERE'S DANIEL??!" I panicked! "He's gone for a coffee" Mum said. "He WHAT?!" I started to stress out and then it was time to push again. "PUSH" said the midwife, but I refused. "Oh HELL NO! I aint pushing till my husband gets back!" I snapped. It would have been just my luck for the baby to come out the moment Daniel left the room! But luckily he came back in time for the next one.

But at this stage the pushing seemed to be going nowhere. "Somethings wrong" I heard one midwife say to the other. My heart sank! Kayla's heart rate seemed to be slowing down with each push. Next thing I know, Dr Egor has entered the room. 'Hang on' I thought, 'he is not suppose to be here, it's the midwives that deal with the delivery.' I knew that something was not right.

I barely remember his words but Dr Egor explained to us that Kayla's heart rate had slowed right down and he needed to prick Kayla's head and test her blood (while she was inside of me!!!) "Just do what you gotta do!" I replied, I just wanted her to be OK and for all this to be over.

So the poor bub had not even been born yet and she was already having her first blood test! I still don't really know the reason for it or the outcome, it all happened so fast and all I could worry about was if she was going to be alright.

Next thing Dr Egor brought out this strange little white suction cap. Good thing I learnt about it at antenatal class otherwise I could have really freaked out. He told us that it seemed that the umbilical cord could be wrapped around Kayla's neck and that a vacuum assisted birth would be needed. "Just do what you gotta do!" was all I could say. Anything to keep her alive!

I think at this stage the unwanted drugs in my system really started to help. Because I was still very drowsy and not completely with it, I wasn't completely aware of just how serious this situation was. If I hadn't been as drugged up as I was, I think I would have been a terrible mess! But even while this was going on, I was still able to drift off to sleep because I was so drowsy.

But what happened next I will never forget! Once the vacuum cap was in place and after another big push, finally Kayla's head was out. But suddenly the room became dead silent and the look on every ones faces were of worry!

Dr Egor was shaking his head quietly saying "The cord is too short" Next thing I remember is the room was suddenly filled up by a swarm of more people. It felt like there were hundreds of people in the room! Doctors and nurses of all sorts came in and were setting up what looked like some kind of reviving equipment.

Then at 7:54pm after one last big push, Kayla was born. But instead of being placed on my chest like I had imagined, she was whisked away for immediate medical attention. She looked as white as a ghost and appeared totally lifeless, it was at that moment when I thought "My baby is dead..."

I didn't know it at the time but the poor little thing had the umbilical cord stuck around her neck with her little arm caught up in it. Her arm being caught up with the cord actually made it tighter and the cord shorter, so it made it difficult for her to come out quick enough.

Finally after a few minutes of medical attention (I couldn't see what they were doing) I had a huge sigh of relief when I heard a wee cry come from Kayla. Although we weren't out of the danger zone yet - her little cry reassured me that she was still alive. *Phew!*

Once the medical team did what ever they had to do, they took Kayla away to special care to be placed in an incubator and monitored. Dan went with her as I lay confused, drugged up and completely numb from the waist down. I needed to be stitched up as there was a bit of tearing from the stressful delivery, so I had to stay in the birthing suite to have that done.

Mind you... it was quite funny, I was laying there drinking a cup of milk (which finally eased the reflux!) and munching on some red frogs completely unaware that there was a lady sitting at the end of the bed stitching me up. "Oooooo! Hello There! Where did you come from?!" I said when I spotted her. This filled the room with laughter and lightened up the mood.

After that, people started to leave the room (I don't even remember Mum and Aunty Karen leaving I was so out of it) and before long I was left alone to sleep off the epidural. They wouldn't allow me to leave the birthing suite to see Kayla until I had feeling back in my legs. This upset me a little, but at least I was exhausted enough to sleep.

A few hours later I woke up determined to see my baby! Although I still didn't have much feeling back in my legs, with help from Dan I forced myself out of the bed and into a wheel chair! Nothing could stop me from seeing my little Bubette!

I was absolutely exhausted and still completely unaware of what was going on around me, but the moment I saw her I was completely overwhelmed with love and joy!

I suddenly didn't care that I had missed out on that skin on skin contact that I had dreamed of... I didn't need it to bond strongly with her. I bonded with her like I could never imagine when I just finally got to see her!

To be continued...

This is the end of the birthing experience, next I shall post about Kayla's experience and health concerns in special care.

And as promised with every post... some more piccys of the beautiful girl!...

She loves her Daddy!...

Lil monkey...

Being burped...

Lower wind...
(and a huge nappy that Daddy put on her!)

NyNys... Thanks for stopping by! xx